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The Gaijin Way of Meeting Japanese Women - Part 1: Why You Should ( and Not) Date Japanese Women

Updated: Jun 12, 2020

Alright Gaijin Gentlemen, welcome to Part 1 of this "course".

We're just gonna jump right into it. I wanna keep each article under 1,000 words so that y'all can retain the information quick and clean.


So I won't go into very many details, but here are a few of my reasons why you ought to date Japanese women, or at least give one of their girls a try if one has the hots for you.

  • Most of their women are actually very relaxed and sweet when you get past their Tatemae (I'll go over this in another article later about Honne and Tatemae). In fact, it is MUCH easier to befriend Japanese women than it is befriending Japanese men.

  • Most Japanese women (but certainly not all) will try to meet you halfway in cultural terms.

  • Japanese women, contrary to what you see in a long of anime and manga, are actually much more intelligent then they appear. If you are into deep conversations that can go into the night, you might enjoy this (but remember, this doesn't apply to all women. Some girls might lack common sense and book smarts, but have their own intelligence in some sort of way).

  • Some Japanese girls are party girls. While not exactly my cup of tea, some Japanese girls know how to "let their hair down" and have fun.

  • The majority of Japanese women know how to be affectionate towards their man. Perhaps it has to do with all the insane amount of Disney movies they watched growing up, but if you treat them like a princess (or better yet, a queen), they WILL treat you like a prince (or even a king).

  • While this certainly varies from woman to woman, a lot of Japanese women are family-orient minded. While this doesn't mean they don't work hard at their day jobs, lots of Japanese women do wish to settle down and start a family. Unfortunately, with many young Japanese men spending over 50-70 hours a week in the office, this doesn't bode well for the young ladies looking for the right man.


Now here are some reasons why you might NOT want to try dating Japanese women

  • Be aware that dating Japanese women is not for the faint of heart. Most likely, there will be periods where you might have "East Meets West" and "West Meets East" moments. If you aren't the kind of person that wants to deal with this, this wouldn't be the right relationship for you.

  • Be aware that you and your girl might get a LOT of flack from less open-minded people, both Americans and Japanese. Ayaka and I had to deal with a few critics about our relationship, esp. from my Grandfather and her Grandmother (though my grandfather eventually relented before he passed away in January 2017. Her's... still don't know if she "hates" me or not). Point is, if you and/or girl have thin skin from either the old folks from the war period, or will cave in from stupid opinions from the less open-minded people, this relationship won't work for either of you.

  • Be aware that at some point down the line, you or her might have to go back to your home country for an extended period of time. If you and your lady are not willing to keep the love alive during a long-distance relationship, then your relationship WILL die.

  • I can't stress this one enough, but I have seen PLENTY of western men come to Japan, and tell me that everything they know about Japanese women is from ******g anime. With this sort of mind set, you are MUCH better off getting a dakimakura pillow (a sort of "Dutch Wife" made in Japan) than you are getting a real woman. So be aware that Japanese women (and women in general) are VASTLY different from their animated counterparts.


So did you learn anything new? Tune into Part 2 next week (or maybe even sooner!)

If you have any questions, drop me a message at !

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