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The Gaijin Way of Meeting Japanese Women - Intro

Updated: Jun 12, 2020

Due to the rising popularity of this question, I've decided to write a series on how Western Men can woo over a Japanese lady. Please note that this is NOT X-RATED, and I will not be getting into any sort of too personal stories that compromise myself or my girlfriend. There are plenty of other blogs and websites for that sort of stuff. It will not be done here.


I have been in a relationship with a wonderful Japanese woman, Ayaka, for almost four years now. While how we met might be a bit unconventional, the fact of it all is that despite the cultural misunderstandings between us, occasionally having "East Meets West Clashes", and being in a long-distance relationship for now half of our relationship (we met in Japan after my misadventure in Akkeshi in 2014), we both agree and know that we are more in love than ever than the day we met in Akihabara on a hot summer day in July 2014.

There are a lot of things online about dating Japanese women. A lot of it is overwhelmingly negative. Some examples I read are...

- The bride, upon marriage, has a complete 180 change in her personality. She shifts to the dreaded "Shufu" (Housewife) mode.

- The sex is great when the two are dating, but when they marry and when kids come, the sex goes out the window... and it's normally the wife that starts it, which leads to a strain in the marriage and sometimes leads to the husband (and sometimes the wife) cheating on their spouse.

- The long work hours completely undermine the family dynamic in Japan. I fully agree with this because if Dad is working 15 hours a day in the office, including spending time with his coworkers at either the bar, karaoke, or soapland, Mom has a lot of undue stress placed on her to raise the kids and wondering what Hubby is REALLY doing after work. Plus, kids without their Dads tend to have problems developing mentally and socially.

- Some Western-Japanese marriages break down, and if the wife or husband is a REAL bad lemon, they abduct the kids and flee to their home country. Fortunately for people in the United States and Japan, both the US and Japan are now apart of the Hague Convention, making international kidnapping illegal on both sides and the US Marshals and Japanese State Police can and will arrest anyone with a warrant for international kidnapping.

I'm not going to deny that stuff like that happens. It does, and it sucks. And it could possibly happen to anyone despite their best intentions to make a relationship and marriage succeed. Not only that, it can happen to any marriage, regardless of where the two are originally from.

But there is a lot of things that we don't know when we read sort of posts that spew negativity.

- We don't know about the current situation that the poster was in during the time he or she wrote it. It could possibly be a "heat of the moment" post where their anger or fury overtook their reason.

- We don't know if they are even telling the truth at all and are nothing but trolls wanting to put other people's dreams and aspirations down. I firmly believe this is usually the most likely scenario. Give any idiot a keyboard, computer, and internet connection, and his/her opinion can be read by millions around the world.

I'm not going to contribute to this negativity. It would be very easy for me to tear down Japanese women and how difficult they are to read and understand. The point of the matter is, men are ALWAYS going to have a hard time understanding women regardless of where they come from or language they speak.

So are you "Gaijin Gentlemen" ready to meet the "Yamato Nadeshiko" of your dreams?


What do you "Gaijin Gentlemen" want to learn from me? Where to meet the girls? What questions to ask to sweep them off their feet? Send me an email at!

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