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One of my favorite shows that I've watched all the way from 6th grade until now is Seth McFarlane's "Family Guy". Despite it being a (mostly) political incorrect TV series (which I tend to enjoy), I have nothing but great memories of the series and how it attacks ALL forms of life, groups of people, modern events in American life, and of course... how they portray foreigners in America.
Of course, there have been a few instances where Peter and/or Stewie and his lovable band of misfits have called out the Japanese and whenever my brothers, my parents, and I watch it together, they always ask me if the Japanese is accurate. To be honest, I never really paid attention during those scenes because I am usually laughing my ass off. So without further ado, let us take a look at some of the (in)famous Japanese scenes in Family Guy.
Scene 1: Japanese Multiverse
In this scene, Stewie and Brian travel through different universes on Stewie's magical space-time continuum thingamajig. They end up in a universe where the Japanese, never having Hiroshima and Nagasaki nuked, ended up defeating the United States in WWII and colonizing the entire American mainland. As a result, the United States has become.... Japanified.
Transcript of the Japanese script (In English)
Peter: めぐちゃん、ブスまた最低だよ (Meg, you are ugly and the worst)
Meg: お父様の願いに従います。(I will obey my father's command).
Peter: 俺がオナラしただよ（ぶうううう）(I just farted (fart sound effect)
Chris: これがオナラしたごけいねい。ははは。可笑しいなんだよ (I (.....) his fart. Hahaha. It's so strange, isn't it?)
Quagmire: こんにちは！セックス、大好きです。じゃね！(Hello. I love sex! See ya!)
Stewie: 僕はきりを好きですがない（？？？？？？？？ (Broken Japanese))
Brian: お前なんだ大嫌いだ。。。でもやっぱり好きだよ。(I totally hate you... but of course I like you)
Lois: あなた様のおチンチンに献上を致します。(I honor my husband's penis)
Peter: 俺のチンチン、2時間前についた。(My penis was hungry two hours ago)
To be honest, most of the Japanese was spot on. I had a problem understanding Chris's last part of the first sentence. There could be multiple pronunciations for this, including...
ごけいねい (go-ke-i-ne-i)
ごけいね (go-ke-i-ne)
ごけねい (go-ke-ne-i)
ごけね (go-ke-ne)
Stewie's Japanese made no sense what-so-ever. If he said 君・きみ (ki-mi) instead of きり (ki-ri), His Japanese could be interpreted as "There is no way that I like you", but even then, to my knowledge, there is no grammar ending with 〜だがない (da-ga-na-i). 〜がない (~ga-na-i) is possible, but not 〜だがない (da-ga-na-i)
Japanese Score: 8/10
Scene Two: "Tentacle Monster" and School Girl
In this cutout scene we see two Japanese guys, asking what they want to do tonight.
Transcript of Japanese (English Translation)
Octopus: おいで！抱き締めてあげるよ！Suction cup feel good! (Come here! I'll hold you tight! Suction cup feel good)
The only thing I find more believable in this scene... is that the Octopus is speaking perfect Japanese. You would never find two Japanese males speaking in English to each other willingly!
Japanese Score: 10/10
Also since some people have asked me where Japan's obsession with tentacle monsters comes from, it actually comes from the famous Ukiyo-e / Shunga (浮世絵・春画) painting from Katsushika Housai, "The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife" (蛸と海女 - Lit. "The Octopus and the Shell Diver").
It is probably one of the most famous erotic... and downright disturbing pieces of art in Japanese history. Since the picture is not safe for kids, I'll just briefly explain it. Women gets... pleasured by two octopuses. The little of goes north, the big one... goes south.
Okay, enough giggity giggity stuff.
So far, that's all the Japanese scenes that I know about in Family Guy. If I find more, I will post them here!
If you think of any more scenes, send me an email at mike@simplegaijin.com !